The trick to lose weight?
Yeah, what is the trick to lose weight anyway? I mean, I know what I should do, but why is it so hard to do it? Just exercise and eat right, right?
No. I go to the gym approximately two times a week. And between that I try to take short walks. Short because I am overweight and my backs killing me if I stand up too long, but it’s a start. The problem is.. Every time I do something healthy for me like go to the gym or take a walk, I have to do something to ‘counterattack’ that. Like today. I was feeling sleepy as hell but instead of taking a nap on the couch as usual, I took a little walk around the block. And I was feeling pretty good about myself, but when I got to the store (which was my goal to buy food for dinner) I could not resist buying chocolate pudding!
And when I go to the gym, and come back home hungry, I often buy a pizza instead of eating something that’s healthy for me.
It’s like, if I do something good, then I have to counter it with something bad (as said).
Now, why is that? My best guess is that it’s low self esteem. I can’t let myself do anything good because then I have to like punish myself somehow. It’s weird and it’s complicated, but I hope you get my meaning.
If I did lose any weight it would.. Like change my whole self image of not being able to accomplish anything. Which of course would be a good thing, that I could learn to accept the fact that I am not totally.. What’s the word here? Useless? Worthless? Hopeless? Maybe all of the above.
I want to lose weight, and I really, really need to (for my back and stuff). But it’s hard to think you’re not worth the things you dream of. That, and the fact that I am lazy as hell. But writing this here now gave me some inspiration to go out and take walks and maybe ad an extra day at the gym. So if I maybe try to keep writing down (maybe not always here) that I need to lose weight, then I will get inspired to do so. I will prevail!
//Syntium
