Craptastic
Current mood: Discontented
It was my nephew’s christening today. And besides feeling like a hypocrite for even setting foot in a church and taking part in an outdated ceremony, based on fairy tales about an almighty God, I felt.. Well to tell you the truth I got that (nowadays) rare feeling of loneliness. When I saw my sister and her husband and their two children by the altar, I wondered if there’s even a slight possibility that I will meet someone. Spend my life with, perhaps but probably not, but maybe, have children with. It doesn’t feel like it would happen.
I know, I know I’m wallowing in self-pity right now, but this is my blog, I get to do that ;)
I digress.
I wonder if there are people who just wasn’t meant to find love, because it’s a fact not everyone find their One True Love. Or even just Love in some form. And I don’t mean love for family members or friends or pets but the kind a love one has for a girlfriend/boyfriend. I don’t really know how to continue describing this thought or feeling, I guess I wonder (again) if I’d ever find a girl. It doesn’t feel like that at the moment. I’m pretty sure I will spend my life alone, without a partner, someone I can spend my time with (within reasonable limits) and feel like a part of a team, a unit.
Is there anyone out there for me? Or maybe several, as I’m not sure if you actually can spend a lifetime with the same person. Maybe you can, it is a wonderful thought at any rate. But is it for me?
I do not believe so.
//Syntium
