As the world keeps turning
Current mood – Drained
Suddenly I just felt drained of all the energy in my body. Don’t really know why, maybe it’s another cold coming on, I don’t know.
It’s weird, I have thoughts in my head, but it’s damn near impossible to form words of them on the keyboard.
I just realised today that the present is never what you imagine it to be, when it is the future. ‘Tomorrow’ always has a shimmer of perfection over it, and can never live up to what you imagined in you head. Conclusion? I wish life could be more like in my head.
I mean, even if I feel present in the present, so to say, it still doesn’t feel like I am imaging it. I don’t know.. I could be the feeling of the physical body weighs heavy on you. That your experiencing reality, and without this shimmer of perfection. Don’t know what I’m rambling about.
On another subject.. I bought the camcorder, thus, I have no clue as to finance books that I don’t sell, if any. I’m thinking that maybe I should put it off for a few months and save the money, and do some more fine tuning. I know, I know, you can fine tune forever and sometimes I feel satisfied with it and ready to publish. But right this moment, I don’t.
The right thing to do is to save up the money first, but as impatient as I am.. That may not work. But on the other hand I can’t keep asking parents for a loan every now and then. So, I think I’m going to postpone the book a bit. That’s solved then!
What else? Well, with the camcorder, I have been editing a little that I have captured on film. And it is fun! Especially when things look exactly the way you want it to, that’s a really satisfying feeling. The only problem, that I don’t have many ideas that I can edit. Maybe that’s why I’m drained.
I miss D. Guess that that’s what I really wanted to say.
//Syntium
